What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
