Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
