Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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