dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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