well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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