Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
