theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
