I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize