She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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