That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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