I CAN MOONWALK!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
