chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
