well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
