How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
