I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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