And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
