WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
