I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
