theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
