WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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