i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize