i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
