THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it's like iHOP with fire
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
