Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize