Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize