Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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