I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
