Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
