He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
