I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
