After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
