Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
