R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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