holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
