Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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