okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
