my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
