I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
