I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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