becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Of course I have a pirate flag
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
