Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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