I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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