is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
