i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
