My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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