That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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