My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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