She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
