I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
