I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
