I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
BRING THE BAGELS
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
