I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
