So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize