I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
