Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
