i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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