Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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