worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
