with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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