better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
