Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
