Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize