I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
