Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
