The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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