I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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