Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
