I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
