that's an acceptable place to lick
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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