The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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